


Jurassic World: How It Should Have Been

by spreadyovrwings



Category: Jurassic Park - All Media Types, Jurassic World Trilogy (Movies)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:09:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23448310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spreadyovrwings/pseuds/spreadyovrwings
Summary: Located off the coast of Costa Rica, built on the site of the old park, the Jurassic World luxury resort provides a habitat for an array of genetically engineered dinosaurs.Eager to appease the family of the park’s creator, Simon Masrani sends out an invitation, and Tim Murphy steps back onto the island for the first time in 22 years.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	1. Prologue

Simon Masrani did not like delays. In his world, delays meant wasted time and ultimately, wasted money. Masrani _also_ did not like wasting money, so his relationship with John Hammond had been tenuous at the best of times. 

_‘Spare no expense!’,_ he used to say.

Masrani had abhorred it, enough that he’d wince every time he heard Hammond exclaim the words.

John operated under the firm belief that throwing money at problems would make them disappear without consequence. 

Masrani, however, knew this meant shortcuts, it meant mistakes were made that would need to be corrected later, which would mean _more_ delays and _more_ money. It was an endless, exhausting, expensive cycle. 

Masrani was relieved he didn’t have to work with the man very often. Though he had always admired Hammond, his methods rubbed him up the wrong way.

So when Hammond died in the late 90s and entrusted him with his vision for the park, Masrani was surprised, to say the least. John had thousands of people beneath him who might have been better suited or at least, better friends.

Perhaps that’s why Hammond had chosen him. He didn’t want a friend, a yes-man, he wanted honesty. That was perhaps the only thing he and Masrani had ever agreed on; they both wanted to give people something genuine, something real. 

He thought he’d done Hammond proud in that respect. The new park was completed in good time with only a few hiccoughs along the way. Now they had an empire. They were even considering opening new parks in Europe and Asia.

_Spare no expense._

But no matter how well the park did, how successful their science division had been, there was still something hollow in the heart of Jurassic World. 

Simon was a family man, so was John. It was one of the other similarities they shared. Through it all, Hammond’s relatives had never said a word. They gave no endorsement, no well wishes. They hadn’t even spoken out _against_ the new park. 

It bothered Masrani like an itch he couldn’t scratch. He felt guilty in a way he wasn’t used to. He wanted everyone to enjoy these animals, to marvel at the miracles they’d created, but there hadn’t been any word from either side of the family since Hammond passed away. Masrani also wasn’t used to not getting his way. 

The reports that came in monthly were troubling. People were still coming in droves, year-to-year revenues were up, but customer satisfaction had always been Masrani’s greatest concern. He wanted the cloud over his head gone, the guilt that he’d inherited from Hammond to ease. He wanted to make things right.

So, a few months ago, he reached out. It was difficult, Hammond’s daughter wanted nothing to do with the park, neither did his brother’s children, or their children. But Masrani didn’t want nephews who’d never stepped outside of a boardroom all their lives. No, he knew the only thing that could assuage the gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach would be the Murphy children.

But it had not been easy. They weren’t children anymore, the eldest would be thirty-six now and had a family of her own. Getting in contact with Alexis Murphy was worse than pulling teeth. Despite his position and Hammond’s obvious trust in him, a sea of lawyers stood between him and absolution.

Now, in his office in California, Masrani watched yet another lawyer squirm in front of his desk, and knew before he could speak that it was not good news. 

“It’s the same answer, sir. She won’t do it.”

Masrani pressed his thumb and forefinger against his closed eyelids, then pinched the bridge of his nose. Yet another pointless delay. 

“Did you offer to pay her?”

“She said…” 

Masrani opened his eyes again when the lawyer hesitated. He looked nervous. 

“She said that all the money in the world couldn’t get her back on the island.” Eager to make up for his mistakes, the lawyer had to think fast. “What about her brother?”

“Brother?” Masrani frowned. “He wasn’t even ten when he came to the park, surely he wouldn’t remember…” 

The lawyer looked suddenly uncomfortable. They both seemed to realise how ridiculous the idea was at the same time, that either of the children would be able to forget all they went through.

“Where is he?”

“New York City. Not far from his sister.”

“What does he do?” 

“He’s a doctor of palaeontology, sir.”

“What?” Masrani straightened up in his chair. “Why wasn’t I made aware of this? He’d be perfect to endorse the park.”

“Alexis is the eldest. We thought it would be more appropriate to reach out to her first. And she…”

“What?”

Masrani watched the lawyer squirm again, like a creature under a microscope. 

“Her lawyer informed me that if we tried to contact Tim Murphy, she would sue us.”

Masrani deflated.

“She said that?”

“She phrased it rather more colourfully but, yes.”

Masrani sat back in his chair again, feeling defeated. But then the gnawing guilt flooded back and with renewed determination, he asked,

“Can we get ahold of him?”

“Sir, Alexis was very insistent-”

“If it comes to it, I’ll talk to her.” Masrani waved his hand. “Call the brother. Make sure you emphasise what a fantastic opportunity this is. I want him to have a good time! Yes?”

The lawyer gave him a wan smile.

“Yes, sir.”

“We’ll show him around, take him behind the scenes. His grandfather would approve, I think.”

Masrani smiled, pleased that the matter had been settled so expeditiously.

“Where does he work?”


	2. Part One

Tim was not having a good day.

His pants shrinking in the dryer and his suffocating subway car aside, it had been threatening to rain all morning, setting his nerves on edge. The taught air made it difficult to breathe as he hurried up the museum steps, his face flushed, his hair sticking to his forehead.

He caught a glimpse of his appearance in the glass door as he pushed it open. He looked worse than he thought. Quickly running a hand through his hair and unwittingly making himself look even scruffier, Tim ran across the museum foyer, almost knocking a visitor’s legs out from under them with his bag in his haste.

He had always hated being late. It was probably something he inherited from his mother, who would always insist they arrive no less than an hour early to any event. She would say it was impolite to keep others waiting and would check her watch constantly until they arrived. Now he got a painful stomach ache whenever he was running behind, and Tim was _always_ running behind.

He was so frazzled, he didn’t realise someone was calling his name until he was at his office door.

Hurrying along the corridor towards him was Mehdi Asghar. He clutched his chest, his cheeks bright red. He’d chased him all the way up two flights of stairs.

“Damn you, Murphy,” He came to a stumbling stop, puffing like a train for a few breaths before he spoke again. “Didn’t you hear me calling?”

“Sorry,” Tim gave him a lopsided smile. “My head is in, like, seven different places today. What’s up?”

Mehdi whipped a handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed it across his forehead, still bright pink.

“Collins called. She needs that report today. Sorry, I don’t mean to hound you about it but they brought the study date forward so everything can be confirmed before the summer.”

Tim barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes. The spring meant all dig proposals had to be put forward as soon as possible so that plans could be drawn and bids submitted. It was a season that Tim always dreaded.

He could hear Alan Grant in his head, muttering bitterly about stuffed-shirt academics, museum curators, what he called ‘teacup dinosaur hunters’. Grant had taken great pains to distance himself from them in dress and behaviour, and often gave his lectures in T-shirts and jeans. 

Real science meant getting your hands dirty, he had little tolerance for palaeontologists who spent their whole time indoors, concerned only with numbers and deadlines and today, neither did Tim.

Usually, someone could tread on his foot and he’d apologised to them, but after the week he was having, Tim’s patience was paper-thin. At least, stressed as he was, he’d been productive, thanks to his crippling fear of failure.

“It’s okay, I finished it yesterday. I’ll send it over now.”

That seemed to appease Mehdi but he didn’t give him a chance to prove him wrong. Tim gave his colleague a strained smile then disappeared inside his office.

Though relatively small compared to that of his colleagues, Tim’s office was homey and just gloomy enough to feel cosy without being so dark that his already poor eyesight struggled. There were books everywhere, most of them old and well-thumbed, a few lovingly cared for pot plants, and an old leather couch that had seen better days. 

Sitting on this couch was Caroline. She jumped up the moment he walked in, stuffing her phone into her back pocket.

“Hey, Doctor Murphy!”

Tim grimaced as he walked to his desk, letting his bag drop heavily onto it with a satisfying ‘thunk’.

“I’ve told you a hundred times, Caroline-”

She sighed.

“I know, I know.”

“We’ve known each other for three months, ‘Tim’ is more than fine.”

“Well, forgive me for being polite.”

“It’s like meeting the Queen of England, you know, ‘your majesty’ first and then ‘ma’am’ after that.”

Caroline sat in the chair on the other side of Tim’s desk, propping her feet up on its flat surface.

“Are you asking me to call you ‘ma’am’?”

With a pen, Tim gently but pointedly pushed her feet off his desk.

“Definitely not.”

“But you _are_ comparing yourself to royalty.”

“Well…”

That made Caroline laugh and despite his foul mood, Tim began to smile too. 

Seventeen and far cooler than Tim had ever been in high school, Caroline was the oldest daughter of another of his co-workers. She had a sharp grin and the terrible burden of being incredibly smart but irreparably indifferent, so Tim had agreed to take her on as an intern, of sorts, anything to get her out from under her parents’ feet and sharpen her surprisingly earnest interest in palaeontology.

“Mehd dropped by, said something about a report.”

“He caught me in the hall.”

“He’s _intense_.”

“He certainly is.”

“My mom almost stuck me with him. Pretty relieved I got a guy who talks to his plants instead.”

Tim shot her a weary look as he fired up his desktop computer.

“Pretty sure you’re supposed to show your boss a little more respect, Caroline.”

“Pretty sure you’re supposed to show up on time.

“Fair.”

She went to flop back onto the sofa, pulling out her phone again in one smooth movement while Tim tried to clear a space on this chaotic desk.

“Don’t forget, you’ve got that meeting today.”

“Meet- Oh! God, yes, thank you. I’ll be there.”

“Don’t be late.”

“Me?” 

Caroline laughed without looking up from her phone.

Already loosening his tie, Tim closed his eyes as he tried to organise today’s schedule in his head.

He wasn’t exactly sure what to do with Caroline, he’d never had an intern before, so she mostly helped keep his office and all the work within organised, and in return, he would write her a glowing letter of recommendation when she started applying for colleges, and turned a blind eye when she wanted to borrow a few little fossils to show off to her friends.

He supposed Caroline was helpful, sometimes, and it was good to have someone to bounce ideas off of, otherwise Tim ended up talking to himself, but she could be just as scatter-brained as him and often forgot to warn him about his messages, but they were working on it. 

Today was one of those days.

“Oh, someone called for you. They’re holding. I think. Your phone is ancient, Doc. You got time?”

Tim hadn’t noticed the red light flashing beneath all the papers that covered his desk. God, he needed to sort his life out

“ _Thank you_ , Caroline,” Tim pushed up his sleeve, checking his watch. Ten minutes till he had to be downstairs. “Uh, yeah, I got time.” 

He tucked the phone between his shoulder and his ear, waiting for the line to click.

“Tim Murphy.”

“Doctor Murphy, good morning.” 

The voice was low and smooth, accented and vaguely familiar. 

Tim frowned, anyone who knew him knew he never liked to be addressed so formally.

“This is he. How can I help you?”

“My name is Simon Masrani, I don’t suppose for a minute you’ll remember me…”

Caroline looked up from her phone. Tim had been too quiet for too long. Usually, he’d be talking her ear off, always managing to make her laugh no matter how boring the topic was. 

She liked that about him, that he was so obviously the smartest person in most rooms but never condescending, he even treated a lowly intern like her as an equal. Doctor Murphy was sweet and patient, and most importantly, he let her get away with murder.

She supposed he was young, younger than most of his colleagues, but anyone past their twenties seemed old to her. Still, he had a youthful energy, even if his green eyes were often hazy with exhaustion and there was a grey patch in the red stubble around his jaw. Her mother had warned her not to stare at it, or the scars that crisscrossed his palms.

Though she didn’t know much about him personally, Caroline had gotten to know his quirks well over the last few months, like how we preferred tea to coffee, that he seemed to own an endless supply of ugly sweaters, and that if he was quiet for longer than a few minutes, then something was definitely wrong.

“Doctor Murphy?” she asked quietly, not wanting to interrupt since he was still on the phone. “You okay?” 

Tim was unusually pale. His eyes were unseeing and the phone hung loose in his grip. He looked as if he’d seen a ghost.

He didn’t say a word as he put the phone down but his mouth was moving, as if he was trying to form words but couldn’t. When he finally met her gaze, Caroline was surprised by how stricken he looked. 

“I have to…” 

It was so quiet in the office, his voice surprised her even though he’d barely whispered the words. Caroline carefully got off the couch but was too nervous to move closer.

“Tim?” she asked again.

He stared emptily at her, then suddenly he was moving around the desk, sending papers flying and books falling to the floor in his haste. Caroline’s chest felt tight as he apologised breathlessly, stumbling to the door.

Later, Tim would remember very little of the phone call. All he knew was the pounding of his own heart in his ears and Caroline calling his name, over and over again. He felt dizzy, his vision blurring as he tumbled down the stairs and out the fire exit. 

Tim felt himself grab onto the cold stone wall of the museum. He bent over and retched, eyes streaming. His legs felt so weak he could hardly stand, his hands trembling.

This wasn’t real. This couldn’t be real. It was just another nightmare. He couldn’t count how many people had reassured him over the last twenty-six years that he would never even have to _think_ about that place ever again. How many miles of red tape had his family wrapped themselves in only for Simon Masrani to tear through it all with one phone call?

Tim straightened up but wobbled on unsteady legs and had to put his hand out. Clutching onto the wall again, he staggered around until he could rest his back against the museum. 

Trying to make sense of his racing thoughts, he pulled in breath after breath of the cool morning air until his vision cleared.

Thankfully, there was no one around. How could he explain what was wrong when he could hardly explain it to himself?

“No,” Tim breathed, running a hand through his sweaty hair. “Not my day at all.”

* * *

Ellie looked up from her homework when the doorbell rang. She perked up instantly, her bored expression replaced by one of absolute joy. She looked at her mother, who was sitting across the table, finishing off some work of her own. 

Lex laughed softly when she saw her daughter almost bouncing out of her seat with excitement and put down her pen.

“Go on.”

Lex blinked and her daughter was gone, but she heard her little feet hurrying down the hall to the front door and her shriek of excitement when the bell rang again.

Ellie had to stretch to reach the handle, her little fingers struggling to twist it, but soon the door swung open and she stood back to welcome their guest with a smile so broad, it showed all the gaps in her teeth.

“Tim!”

He looked down, laughing softly. He’d expected someone taller. 

“Hey, there, Ellie Bean.”

He crouched down so that she could run into his arms and he swept her up. Ellie giggled as her feet left the ground, and Tim already began to feel a little better when she clutched onto him tightly. 

“How was school today?”

“We learned about the solar system!”

“The solar system! That’s awesome! You gonna teach me everything you know?”

Ellie nodded excitedly, eager to pass on what she had learned. 

They did this every time he came over. Ellie would sit Tim down at the dinner table and tell him everything she’d learned at school since they last saw each other. Tim listened intently and asked lots of questions, brimming with pride, while his niece waved her little hands around and told him about all the wonders of the world she was just beginning to know.

Lex was more than happy to encourage this, anything to make her brother smile and her daughter happy, although she wished he’d wait until after Ellie had finished her homework. They could sit and talk for hours if she let them, they were two sides of the same coin. Lex often saw the same light in her daughter’s eyes that she used to see in her little brother’s, a light that had sadly faded but still glowed, like the last ember had, thankfully, yet to burn out. 

“Hey!” Lex smiled as she approached the door. “We weren’t expecting you until five.”

She’d been working from home today so her hair was down and she was in comfortable clothes, rather than the brightly coloured pantsuits she favoured. Tim had been expecting her husband, Michael. He hadn’t had a chance to think of an excuse yet. 

“I took the afternoon off.” 

Tim glanced at Ellie, resting a careful hand on her back so that she sat safely in his arms. He felt his stomach twist when he met his sister’s gaze again, dreading the thought of taking away her smile.

“I got a phone call,” he said quietly.

He watched as confusion flashed across Lex’s face, then a shadow settled in her eyes and her expression crumpled like a piece of paper. She knew, she knew without him having to say another word.

Ellie wriggled out of his arms and pulled him inside, excitedly telling Tim about the book she’d been reading as she tugged on his hand. He let her drag him into the living room where Michael was waiting for them, giving Lex a sorry glance on the way past.

Lex met her husband when they were both studying at MIT. She was top of her class, Michael a close second, and she never let him forget it. They danced around each other for half a year before he finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and three years later, he gathered his nerve again and asked her to marry him. Ellie was born the year after that.

Michael was tall and lean, with a broad smile and a penchant for gardening. Once a computer programmer like Lex, he now worked from home designing software, or something like that, anyway. Tim _did_ know, he’d been told a hundred times, but he wasn’t exactly machine compatible and most of what his sister and her husband talked about went over his head. 

Lex hardly said a word for the rest of the evening, and when she did, it was only when spoken to. At one point, Michael rested a gentle hand over hers, calling her name, and she blinked as if she’d been stirred from a dream. Lex apologised, said she was just tired, but didn’t look at Tim once.

They were sat around the dinner table, Tim and Ellie side by side, as usual, when Lex finally broke her silence. She seemed to have pushed away the dark clouds in her eyes for now and Tim almost let himself relax, but he knew he wasn’t out of the woods yet. His sister had always had a quiet sort of anger, a family trait, and even when Lex smiled and laughed with her family, he knew she wasn’t done with him yet.

“Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune,” Ellie stated, enunciating each word and punctuating them with a wave of her fork.

Tim frowned, twirling pasta around his plate. 

“What happened to Pluto?”

Ellie shook her head. 

“Not a planet.”

“Not a planet?”

“Not anymore. They de-classed it.

“Declassified, honey,” Michael said as he gently wiped a little pasta sauce from his daughter’s chin.

Tim pulled a face.

“I liked Pluto.”

“They taught us a song to help us remember it.”

“I’ll teach you a better, Pluto-inclusionary one.”

Tim playfully tried to sneak one of Ellie’s meatballs off her plate, delighted when she squealed and tried to steal it back, almost knocking her glass of water over in the process. 

Lex stilled it with one carefully placed finger.

“Timmy,” she said, giving him a gentle but pointed look. “Stop trying to teach my daughter outdated science.”

Tim flinched. It wasn’t the nickname itself that had struck him, his family used it from time to time, especially when he was in trouble or they were feeling particularly fond of him. No, not the name itself, but the intonation, and the timing, today of all days. 

It took him right back to that night, when rain pounded the glass roof of the jeep and cold mud seeped through his clothes. His sister’s screams filled his ears, the very earth shaking beneath him. The sky flashed from deep black to stark white as lightning struck the island, the awful, terrifying outline of the tyrannosaurus silhouetted against the empty night. 

It took him right back to the park.

Tim realised he was clutching his cutlery so tight that it’d begun to cut into the palms of his hands, right over his scars. Lex was staring at him. He tried to reassure her but a coppery taste filled his mouth, tangy like blood on his tongue, and he didn’t risk speaking. There was no point, anyway. Once again, Lex knew exactly what he was going on inside his head without him having to say anything.

“Ellie, honey,” she said quietly, not taking her eyes off Tim. “Why don’t you go pack your bag for school tomorrow?”

Michael glanced between his wife and his brother-in-law. He knew better than to get involved, so he went to help Ellie get ready for bed.

Lex stormed into the kitchen, dropping their dirty plates into the sink with such force, Tim was surprised they didn’t all shatter.

“Lex-”

“I don’t wanna hear it.”

She kept her back to him, bracing herself against the edge of the sink. Her grip was so tight, Tim could see that her knuckles had blanched. 

He sighed as he stepped closer.

“Lex…”

“I don’t wanna hear it!”

“You don’t even know what I’m gonna say!”

Lex scoffed.

“Yes, I do. I know, you’ve already made up your mind. I can tell. You’ve got that stupid look on your face.” 

“I don’t have-”

She turned her head and met his gaze. 

“It’s the same look Grandpa got.”

That made Tim freeze. He didn’t think she’d meant to hurt him but her words made his heart wrench. He wanted to be angry, he wanted to argue and prove her wrong, because after a lifetime of trying so hard not to turn into his father, it pained Tim to know he’d gone too far in the other direction. 

“Lex, look-”

“You can’t go.” Lex turned away again, aggressively tidying up the kitchen so that her hands were busy and she couldn’t throttle her brother. “First of all, mom would kill you.”

“I’ll talk to her.”

“What about work?”

“I’m due time off anyway.”

Lex stopped clattering around the kitchen and turned to look at him. She opened her mouth, then shook her head and closed it again, so furious she could hardly find the words. 

“I told them,” she muttered under her breath. “I told them if they tried to get to you, I’d-”

“Lex. Lex, it’s okay.”

He put a hand on her shoulder, trying to sound reassuring, but Tim’s throat was so tight, he almost choked on the words. 

Lex brushed him off and poked a finger at his chest. 

“No, Tim, you barely slept the first twenty years of your life and I’ll be damned if I let them bully you into going back.”

She hadn’t prodded him hard but it still made Tim stumble a little bit, his hand pressed against his sternum. He felt strangely helpless, the whole day had left him feeling like a child again, and he couldn’t seem to catch his footing. His already tenuous grasp on his emotions seemed weaker than ever. 

He felt on the brink of tears but angry too, angry that her sister, who ought to know exactly what he was feeling, wouldn’t let him speak, let alone explain. And worst of all, Tim was scared, he was _so_ scared that he was making the wrong decision, that he’d been wooed just as his family feared he would be, and he wouldn’t know it until it was too late. 

“They’re not, I-” He tripped, his tongue tangling around the words, but he picked himself back up again. “I don’t feel corralled, Lex. I think it’d be good for me to-”

“Look at your hands.” 

Silence filled the kitchen as Lex and Tim stared at each other. For the first time, he realised that his sister had tears in her eyes, her mouth pressed into a firm line. She wasn’t angry with him. Like Tim, she was frightened, afraid of the nightmares this would all dredge back up, nightmares she still grappled with, scared for _him_ , scared that he wouldn’t be half as lucky as they were last time, if you could call it that. 

Lex shook her head, angrily brushing at her eyes, not wanting him to see how upset she was. 

“I watched you die, Tim,” she whispered. 

The air shifted between them. How much worse, Tim thought, that his sister was scared, rather than furious. And how afraid she must be to bring up something that they’d never discussed, not in twenty-six years. 

Everything changed after the park. Tim had been such an extroverted kid and would talk a mile a minute to anyone who’d listen. When he came back from Isla Nublar, he was a completely different person. The things that used to be fun just weren’t anymore and he would jump at the littlest sounds. He couldn’t even get in a car without wanting to throw up for years.

And Tim had _hated_ himself for it. It broke his own heart to think about sometimes, a child that young hating himself for being afraid. His father would tell him to grow up and forget about it, while his mother wouldn’t even talk about what happened, ashamed of what her father had done.

While Tim let his fear envelop him, Lex internalised it all and buried herself in her work. Some nights, when things got really bad and she was away at university, he would call her in the middle of the night, and they would talk for hours. She would tell him that he was so brave, and the strongest person she knew, and even though he would always be embarrassed the next time he saw her, Lex was the only one Tim could talk to about what happened. But they never, ever discussed _that_.

“It will be different this time,” Tim wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince anymore. “The whole park is state of the art. They’re not gonna let what happened to us happen again. They just want me to look around and then they’ll never bother us again.”

Lex stared at him, and for a moment, he thought he’d won her round. But then the emotion sank from her face and instead she just looked tired, lost, defeated.

“You’ve already agreed,” Lex realised.

Tim hesitated, then slowly nodded.

He found himself wanting to apologise but he wasn’t quite sure why. After all, it was him going back, not her, not her family. Oh. But he _was_ family, he was her little brother, and she was right, she had watched him die. 

Perhaps this _was_ a mistake. Perhaps if the idea of going back made him feel so cold inside, he shouldn’t trust Masrani to lead him right through the gates that bracketed his nightmares. Perhaps he was being selfish. Perhaps. But if it helped. If it made the bad dreams go away. If it set him and his sister free, perhaps it would be worth it.

“Honey, you alright?” 

They looked around to find Michael in the doorway, his gaze switching between them.

Lex didn’t answer. She just sighed and rested her head in her hands.

Tim looked down at his feet, immediately regretting it when tears filled his vision. He blinked them away, not looking at either Lex or her husband as he slipped out of the kitchen.

“I’m gonna go say goodnight to Ellie.”

He took his time walking up the stairs, half agony, half hope, praying that he wouldn’t hear raised voices from the kitchen. But no, there was only the terrible, awful silence. And somehow, it was far worse.

Ellie was already tucked into bed when he came in. Tim paused in the doorway while his emotions settled; he hoped he didn’t look as drawn as he felt.

Ellie‘s bedroom was a wonderful microcosm of her personality, an explosive mix of fairy tales and science. She was so unashamedly smart, so unapologetically herself. It made Tim proud beyond words. He sometimes wished he could be more like his niece.

He took his time saying goodnight. He supposed, safe as he knew he would be on the island, there was still a small part of him that felt he might not come home.

Tim made a show of grunting and groaning as he settled onto his knees by the bed just to make Ellie laugh.

“You know,” he said. “You look just like your mom when she was your age.”

Ellie’s little face lit up.

“Really?”

“Yeah, she was just as horrible.” 

She giggled, nose wrinkling, chubby cheeks bunching up.

“Nooo, Tim!”

“I’m serious! I can barely look at ya.”

He laughed, tapping the end of her nose. It made her laugh so hard, she almost got the hiccoughs. Tim was smiling too, the tension in his chest already seeping away, but he stroked a calming hand over her hair, trying to get her to settle down. Lex was already upset with him, he didn’t want to make it worse by getting Ellie too giggly before bed.

She did look just like her mother. Sometimes Tim had to do a double-take because Ellie would say or do something so much like Lex that for a moment, he was thrown back to his childhood. She was just as smart and always asked such fantastic questions. He hoped she was a little aspiring palaeontologist; that always made Lex roll her eyes with a fond smile.

Whenever he babysat, Tim would read to her from one of his books until she fell asleep. He’d never really seen himself as a father but Ellie just made him so happy, and Lex was always telling him how good he was with her, it gave Tim the confidence to hope that maybe someday, he might be.

“What were you and mom fighting about?” Ellie asked quietly.

She looked worried, so Tim tried to shrug it off.

“We weren’t fighting. Just having a loud conversation.” 

He offered her a feeble grin but Ellie’s troubled expression didn’t waver. Tim sighed and ran a hand through his red hair, then down his face to his chin, his slight shadow of stubble scratching his palm. _How to explain?_

“I have to go away for a while,” Tim said softly. He took her little hand in his. “You know… You know how your mom told you about the park? The park we went to when we were kids?”

Ellie nodded, her face serious beyond her years. It made Tim’s heart clench and he had to look down for a second, breath catching in his throat. Guilt clouded his senses. When he spoke again, his voice was low and heavy. 

“Well, your great-grandpa left it to someone else. And they want me to make sure that it looks how my grandpa wanted.”

Ellie considered this. It made Tim smile. He could practically see the cogs turning in her mind, her forehead creased with concern, just the way his did.

“But mom said you got hurt. Why would you go back?”

He didn’t answer. How could he? Tim couldn’t lie, couldn’t reassure her that everything was going to be alright because he didn’t know that it would be. Instead, he sighed again and just squeezed her hand, her little fingers covering the scars on the centre of his palms 

“If you go back,” Ellie whispered. “Will mom’s nightmares stop?”

In the silence of the bedroom, Tim thought he heard his own heart splinter in two. 

Ellie always noticed the weather. Her parents thought she was just a little meteorologist in the making and thought it was funny when they caught her watching the forecast with baffling focus. But it wasn’t for her own sake, it was for her mother’s, because even if Lex didn’t notice that she was doing it, she always tensed when it started to rain.

Ellie had heard her. She’d heard her mother cry out in the middle of the night while the rain fell. She’d heard her whimper that someone had left her, someone was trying to hurt her, and although she didn’t understand what had happened, not really, Ellie knew fear when she heard it, and she wanted to help her mom, she just wanted her to feel as safe as she made her feel.

“I don’t know Ellie Bean,” Tim gave her a sad sort of smile. “But I think it might help.”

When he came back downstairs, Lex was sitting with her husband in the living room. She rose to her feet when Tim came in, her hands clasped tightly in front of her. 

“You should go,” she said, before he could even open his mouth. “I don’t like it but if you think it’s what’s right, then you should go.”

Her eyes were red and tired, but she gave him a watery smile, even though it didn’t quite meet her eyes. They both knew she was going to worry. They both knew she wasn’t alright with this. But frightened as he was, Tim knew this was an opportunity, not for himself, or Masrani, but for his family. 

This was a new start for them, a chance to be more open with each other, a chance for them to sleep better, to finally lose the weights that had sat in their chests for almost thirty years.

Lex still looked pained as Tim carefully wrapped his arms around her. He felt rather than heard her sigh as he held her tight. 

“I’ll be alright,” Tim said. “I’m always alright. What’s the worst that can happen?”


End file.
